Ah, the patriarchy. The social system that keeps on giving... but not in the way we'd want it to. Let's crack open this layered concept that's been the topic of both whispering frustrations and loud protests. Ladies, gentlemen, and all non-binary pals, it's time to untangle the web of patriarchal norms that not only suppress women, but also cripple men emotionally. So, buckle up; this is a rocky but necessary ride!
The Patriarchy Unveiled: A System of Oppression
The patriarchy isn't just a buzzword; it's a pervasive system that affects every facet of our lives. It's composed of three pillars: Gender Inequality, Homophobia, and Violence. These pillars uphold patriarchal norms and attitudes, perpetuating a cycle of oppression. Within this system, six structures define our existence: paid work, housework, culture, sexuality, violence, and the state.
But what does this mean in practice? It means rationing and policing emotions, dictating that men must suppress "unfeminine" feelings and women must embody "helplessness." This inherent conflict with emotional expression creates a significant barrier for men seeking help for mental health issues, and helps foster violence against women and other marginalized groups.
At its core, the patriarchy thrives on an unequal distribution of power. It places men in positions of authority, while often relegating women and gender-diverse individuals to subservient roles, perpetuating various forms of inequality. This system enforces hetero-normative ideals, resulting in the stigmatization of non-heterosexual orientations and the marginalization of LGBTQ+ individuals, all while compelling conformity.
Violence against women, especially sexual violence, finds its roots in these accepted patriarchal norms. The patriarchy weaponizes sexualized violence as a means of exerting power and control, teaching men that women exist to serve them, reducing women to the status of property. A perfect example of this would be the fact that it was LEGAL to rape your wife in the US up until 1993. It's still legal in other countries today.
The Manosphere: A Disturbing Offshoot
Within the broader context of the patriarchy, we must also acknowledge the'manosphere'.' This umbrella term refers to interconnected misogynistic communities deeply rooted in patriarchal values. The manosphere encompasses various types and severities of misogyny, from broader male supremacist discourse to men's rights activism (MRA) and “involuntary celibates” (incels).
The manosphere perpetuates toxic ideologies that further intensify the patriarchal grip on society. It thrives on degrading women, promoting hatred, and sometimes advocating violence. In the name of so-called men's issues, it often disregards the genuine struggles of marginalized groups, and even other men, and amplifies hostility towards everything outside patriarchal values. Fueled with that patriarchy's "given right", these groups fuel hateful ideology about women and continues the cycle of violence against women.
In the US, almost three women are killed every day by an intimate partner. Just as in the case of Shanann Watts, women in the U.S. are predominantly killed by men they know, and largely by current or former intimate partners. These staggering statistics demonstrate the misogyny behind these violent deaths — in the United States, like in so many countries across the world, women are being murdered because they are women.
Unintended Consequences: Male Loneliness
It's crucial to understand that the patriarchal system may favor men, but it doesn't necessarily provide the same advantages to women.
Paul Dolan, an expert in the field, has shed light on this issue. He explained that while marriage can be beneficial for men, it doesn't necessarily offer the same advantages to women. Dolan points out that while marriage and having children can be wonderful experiences, they also come with their downsides. According to his research, unmarried and childless women are the happiest subgroup in the population.
Women are awakening to the realization that marriage is often more advantageous for men. They've tirelessly fought for their freedoms, education, and careers, enabling them to lead independent lives. While this empowerment has been a positive shift, it has also brought unintended consequences for men and society as a whole.
This societal shift has inadvertently contributed to a men's loneliness epidemic. Men are grappling with staggering levels of loneliness, living silently with their emotions. The patriarchy's toxic influence tells men they cannot have feelings or emotions, fostering a culture of emotional repression. This repression often leads to tragic outcomes, such as suicide, with men dying by suicide at a rate 3.90 times higher than women, totaling 132 suicides per day on average.
Final Note: A Path to Liberation
Imagine a world where stereotypes no longer bind us, where men could express feelings without the fear of being seen as "weak", and where women and marginalized groups are not disproportionately killed. We have the power to dismantle the patriarchy and create a better society.
Until Next Time,
Jena
Your mental health battle buddy and pyro tech for burning down the patriarchy
Sources:
Catherine J. Nash, in International Encyclopedia of Human Geography (Second Edition), 2020
Gupta, M., Jayakrishna Madabushi, & Gupta, N. (2023). Critical Overview of Patriarchy, Its Interferences With Psychological Development, and Risks for Mental Health. Cureus.
Abi Rached M;Hankir A;Zaman R. (2021). Patriarchal Upbringing in the 21st Century: The Impact Emotional Abuse Related to Parental Styles Has on the Genesis of Gender Inequality and the Development of Unresolved Trauma in Children.
Sexism and Misogyny: Unpacking Patriarchy and Its Handmaids. (2022). Psychology Today.
Jan Jordan, Tackling Rape Culture: Ending Patriarchy.
Rothermel, A.-K. (2023). The role of evidence-based misogyny in antifeminist online communities of the “manosphere”
The Pandemic of Male Loneliness. (2021). Psychology Today.
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