Cultivating Happiness

Welcome back lovelies, last week we dove into the pits of anger. We meandered through the spectrum of anger and learned that not all anger is bad, but when left unchecked, it can cause HPA-axis dysregulation, sleep disturbances, immune suppression, and rapid aging.

This week, we explore anger's polar opposite, happiness. We'll examine the suggestions of ancient philosophers and modern researchers on how to achieve a happier state and positive well-being, and whether the amount of money you make or the relentless pursuit of money can create happiness.

Happiness can manifest in different ways for everyone

Understanding Happiness: Beyond the Dictionary Definition

What is happiness? If you look it up, the dictionary will provide you with the basic definition, "the state of being happy". Not only is this definition lackluster, but it also fails to recognize all the emotions that encompass a state of happiness. Happiness is more than just a word; it is an emotional state characterized by joy, satisfaction, contentment, and a sense of fulfillment. It is the amalgamation of these different emotions that collectively results in a positive state of the mind, and the sources of these feelings are uniquely subjective to each individual.  The Philosophy of Happiness

Since the 4th century BCE, the quest for happiness has captivated the minds of some of the greatest thinkers. Ancient philosophers such as Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle have profoundly influenced our understanding of what it means to live a good and fulfilling life. Aristotle, in his seminal work "Nicomachean Ethics," delves deep into the concept of happiness, proposing it as an active pursuit of a virtuous life. He introduced the term Eudaimonia, commonly translated to mean happiness or flourishing, suggesting that the ultimate human good lies in living virtuously.

Similarly, Buddha's teachings on happiness center around understanding and addressing the root causes of suffering. He advocated for a life of moderation, steering clear of both excessive indulgence and unnecessary self-denial, through the 'Middle Path.' This approach aligns with the virtues of balance and moderation celebrated by his contemporaries in the West.

Aristotle, along with Socrates and Plato, championed the idea that true happiness is found in the cultivation of moral virtues such as courage, justice, temperance, and benevolence—components of Eudaimonia, signifying a life well-lived. On a different note, Epicurus posited that happiness stems from the pursuit of tranquility and inner peace, emphasizing the simplicity of joy.

While each philosopher presented unique perspectives on the pursuit of happiness, their teachings collectively underscore a timeless wisdom: happiness is not merely a state to be achieved, but a dynamic process of living morally, mindfully, and in moderation. Their insights continue to guide us in navigating the complexities of life in search of genuine fulfillment.

What Determines Happiness | Greater Good Science Center - University of California, Berkeley

Money and Happiness: The Harvard Study Insight

We've all heard the term that money doesn't buy happiness.  An 85 year long research study conducted by Harvard, known as the Harvard Study, has shown that happiness is not significantly increased after reaching a certain level of income in relation to living expenses. Rather, the more income you have, the more you are able to buffer daily stress in the form of buying goods and services that may help mitigate some stress. You maybe able to afford house cleaning services, better food, or daycare, etc. While money spent on those services may make life easier, they do not produce more happiness per-sey. What the Harvard Study fails to recognize is that while money can't "buy happiness", it can however provide some stress relief, more opportunities for new experiences and social connections.  So what do we do when, like so many others, we do not have the financial means to make life easier?

Cultivating Happiness

We work on cultivating our own happiness by taking notice of the small but meaningful things that bring us joy. We pay attention to the glimmers in our lives, the moments that bring us peace, joy and contentment. Maybe it's the way your dog twitches and grumbles when he's dreaming about chasing squirrels. Perhaps it's the way the light hits your home, creating for a moment a beautiful ambience. Maybe your child's laughter or the smile on your partner's face. Whatever it is for you, whatever brightens up your day, even for a second, take note of it. Even if the moment is fleeting, recognize the glimmer and bask in its warmth. 

Appreciate the glimmers, the little moments that bring joy and contentment

The Power of "Now":

Research in positive psychology suggests that true contentment comes from embracing the present and finding joy in the now. Instead of fixating on future achievements as sources of happiness, we can cultivate a mindset that finds value and fulfillment in the current moment. This doesn't mean we shouldn't set goals or look forward to the future, but rather that we should not defer our happiness to a later date. Happiness as a Moving Target:

When we treat happiness as a destination, it becomes a moving target—always just beyond our grasp. Each time we achieve a goal that we believe will bring us happiness, we find that our satisfaction is temporary. Soon after, we set our sights on the next goal, believing that this time, it will bring us the happiness we seek. This cycle can lead to a constant state of longing and dissatisfaction, where happiness is perpetually "just around the corner," but never quite here.

The Journey Matters:

The process of working towards a goal, overcoming challenges, and growing as individuals can be as rewarding, if not more so, than the moment of achievement itself. The experiences we gain, the lessons we learn, and the relationships we build along the way contribute significantly to our overall happiness. By focusing on the journey, and not just the destination, we open ourselves up to a wealth of joy and satisfaction that we might otherwise overlook.

Practical Steps to Embrace Happiness Now:

Practice Gratitude: Regularly acknowledge and appreciate what you have in your life right now. Gratitude shifts your focus from what's missing to what's present.

Savor the Small Moments: Find joy in the everyday—whether it's enjoying a cup of coffee, a warm ray of sunshine, or a laugh with a friend.

Cultivate Mindfulness: Being fully present and engaged in the current activity can enhance your enjoyment and satisfaction.

Foster Connections: Invest in relationships. Genuine connections with others are a key source of happiness.

Be Kind to Yourself: Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer a good friend. A Final Note

The crux of true happiness lies in nurturing our inner world and the connections we forge with others. To cultivate a happier state of being, we must actively engage in awareness, cherish the present moment, and the multitude of small joys it can offer. This involves a conscious effort to recognize and savor the beauty in the mundane, the laughter shared with a loved one, the serenity of a quiet morning, or the satisfaction of a job well done. These moments, though fleeting, stitched together create the essence of a fulfilled life. Building and maintaining strong, supportive relationships contribute to our emotional resilience and sense of belonging. Engaging in acts of kindness, expressing gratitude, and cultivating empathy not only enhance our own well-being, but also ripple outward, enriching the lives of those around us. Understanding ourselves, our values, and what truly matters to us enables us to navigate life's challenges with grace and pursue goals that resonate with our deepest selves. This alignment between our actions and our authentic selves fosters a profound sense of satisfaction and joy.

Until next time,

Jena

Your certified guide to mental well-being 

Sources:

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Compton, W. C., & Hoffman, E. (2019). Positive psychology: The science of happiness and flourishing. Sage Publications.

‌Oppong, T. (2019, October 18). Good Social Relationships Are The Most Consistent Predictor of a Happy Life - Thrive Global. Thrive Global. https://community.thriveglobal.com/relationships-happiness-well-being-life-lessons/